Day Thirty-Eight

Day 38Two landmark occasions today: I went to see my surgeon for my first check up, and I went to work for the first time since I found out that I had cancer.  Surgeon first, work second.  Dr. Johnson said that my scars were healing nicely, and I should feel comfortable resuming low-impact physical activity.  This is good news!  Maybe I can’t begin jogging yet, but more walking, maybe some bike riding, swimming, who knows?  I have lots of options, which is great.

The first day back at work was fairly uneventful.  Lots of “Wow, you look great!” and “I’m so glad you’re back.”  I wonder if they thought I would be bald already, or that I would look like I was on death’s door.  I wish, at times like these, that people would be totally honest.  I wish someone would say, “Wow, Logan, I expected you to come back looking like a living corpse, not very similar (albeit a few pounds lighter) to how you looked when you left.”  That’s okay.  I wouldn’t do that, either.

I read a blog today of a woman who had breast cancer.  It was titled “A Year with Cancer” or something like that, and it was from Fit magazine online, or something like that.  I was mildly frustrated by the blog, simply because this woman had stage I cancer and it seemed much worse than I imagine stage I cancer actually being.  She had chemo and went bald, she went through serious psychological help to deal with her fear of death, and it goes on and on.  Am I really just being way too optimistic?  Should I be afraid for my life, or are other people just more melodramatic than me?  I guess that’s why no one reads this blog – I’m not entertaining enough because I’m actually trying to deal with my cancer in a logical, calm, proactive way.  Well, sorry, readers, I will never be that pathetic.

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34 years old. Colon cancer survivor. Mom and wife, lover of life.

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